Ever year in this country, we celebrate our nations birth by watching pyromaniacs have a swell time for 45 minutes or so. Tonight's display was no different, but with an exception.
We went to Otisville Park and saw, what I thought, was a really good, really planned out display. Had all the good, loud boomers that I like, plus a few new ones.

One thing did upset me, however. Since when did the National Anthem be changed from what it is, to 'God Bless America'? I wasn't the only one who noticed this, and I put a lot of thought into it. We have singlehandedly changed in every way in our country, to an almost shocking resemblance to Nazi Germany. With the scary patriotism, to the apparent change of our own National Anthem. What gives? And to be perfectly honest, I hate 'God Bless America'. It's obviously Christian overtones make me want to vomit.

I would like to state that 232 years ago, when those old, white landowners were signing the document to make this country official, they did not have the vision for America that we currently display now. I don't think they meant for us to be a controlling, fear-mongering, fast-food, hate machine. I've said it before, but I definitely think that if they were to somehow see us now, they would scream in bloody terror.

God Bless Damn America.

-That is all.

Some people think it's funny when I say that "I was raised Otrhodox Trekkie but converted to Jediism after College"

They just don't have a clue how hard it can be in mixed-fandom families




they just don't have a clue

I was hoping to get my bookshelves together today so I can put my computer and stereo stuff away, but I can't find the screws from when the movers disassembled them. I would have thought they would be with the other small hardware pieces like the pegs that hold the shelves up and such, but they are not and I was too sick when they did the disassembly to take notice of where they wound up. Luckily Ikea still makes the shelves, and my dad is going to stop by and pick up replacement screws and bring them up with him when he and my mom visit next weekend. Guess I won't have the apartment ready by then, and all the books and cds will have to remain in boxes. I am going to try to get the kitchen together instead. Despite this annoyance, I'm still very glad to be here.

I'm so back and forth back and forth back and forth. I've deleted a bunch of entries here because it made me cringe to read them.. Because I spent so much time and energy venting and complaining and whining. But then I realized that by deleting them rather than simply editing them, older entries became unresolved.

I don't have much time so I'll post some stuff.



I'm trying to kill off part of me, because I have no choice. How do I explain this because really, I want to keep it to myself as it's somewhat embarrassing and might not make sense. I've identified one of my major issues. Actually, that's not true. Hmm. I don't feel any different. See I'm already screwing up. Basically, Zoe knows what's up and I'm sorry for what I need to do. Either something has to change or something has to change.

OK.

The Children's Home thing is going well. Everyone loves me, I don't feel awkward. I feel quite confident in my ability to work with staff and children. The job is easy, fun, etc.. But I've decided to utilize my CDL license and get a job doing some kind of delivery route. I've been sending out applications but think I'm going about my search the wrong way. Rather than use a site like Monster I'm just going to check the yellow pages (online) for beverage and food distributors in the Hudson Valley, look up their site and apply there (I've had so much luck doing this in the past and all my uncles tell me this is the way to go, that these companies rarely use job portals to advertise). I will be making a lot (3 times as much) money and will have an easier time surviving than I am now.

Moving back to the city. I want to, so bad. First though, I need to get a new job and become used to the career change up here where I can fall back on driving a school bus and living on my own. If the truck driving thing didn't work out living in the city, I'd really be struggling to pay my rent even with a school bus driving job. By next summer, I should have a decent savings, enough to move back to The Bronx if I still want to do that. It's a year away. A million things can change between now and then so I won't dwell on this.


Here are camera phone pics, mostly from yesterday. I got the chance to drive to The Bronx for work. I was close enough to stop off in Pelham Bay (the neighborhood i grew up in) and see around. Not much as changed. A few new stores here and there. It all looks just as it did growing up though. My building seemed a lot smaller though. The courtyard and lobby I mean. It's not like I didn't live there as an adult. It still seemed much smaller than I remember.

I miss The Bronx so much. Would I have a better life there? I'm giving the Hudson Valley another year. I'm not going to live out my days here if I'm to be lonely and screwed up. I have family and friends in the City. I have more social opportunities. Maybe this is the change I need. Like I said, I'm thinking a year from now so I won't commit to planning just yet.












 

Time to go to work. I'm transporting a child to Troy today, which is cool because my route used to be up there when I worked at Snapple. I kinda know the area and am not worried about gettin lost or anything.

I'm supposed to go to Brooklyn tonight for Fireworks but with all the traveling the past couple of days I don't know.. It's supposed to thunderstorm too.

So I'm finally in my new apartment in Boston. Everything arrived today, and so far with the exception of one lightbulb everything is in tact. So far I've managed to unpack all my clothes and dishes as well as assemble my desk. Though I plan on redoing the closet since right now the one rod and shelf wastes a lot of room and I could use the extra space for hanging clothes. Tomorrow I'll start tackling the half dozen bookshelves for my sewing supplies, books and computer stuff. I also had the electricity and gas put in my name, and made an appointment to have cable TV and internet access installed on Saturday (right now I'm on someone's unsecured wireless network).

And while I'm doing the picture thing... here's a portrait of my handsome boy, Aragorn, sitting on my midi keyboard (a.k.a, his throne).

So yesterday, I had to call the title company on the refinance I was doing. No biggie.

Talking to Joe he said "And Nik, do me a favor, have a fifth on the Fourth for me, would ya?"

No fucking problem Joe. No fucking problem.

Right after laundry.

*stalks socks*