My momma always told me, be careful what you do, don't go around breaking young girls hearts...
I am surprised that i haven't seen any heartfelt posts about the passing of Michael Jackson;
tho probably if i looked beyond my own friends page i would find more.
((Apparently my friends have been waiting for me to write about this, so, how can i deny them?))

I think my first cognizance of who he was and his significance blossomed from watching MTV as a child;
it was the MoonWalker movie that captured my heart
and i think the first video of his i can remember seeing was Beat It.
Thriller is amoung my top 10 favorite songs/videos ever and a huge inspiration for me both for the make-up and choreography-
Captain EO (and the 'making of' film showed on the Disney Channel) was also a key factor in creating the
Dream Engineer i claim to be;
seeing what they did and the magic that occurred around Michael Jackson is
irresistible to a child like i was
and
though i was young and didn't understand it at all
perhaps he was my first celebrity crush.

I do know that MoonWalker is one of a prime reasons i have never really been tempted by hard drugs
no matter how wonderful people describe them to me as being. 
((Was it because the message was good or because the trauma of seeing MJ turn into a space ship?  i don't know...))

Songs like 'Smooth Criminal' and 'Billie Jean' are etched into my memory-
the videos for Beat It, Bad, Scream-- all of them- still cause me to stop if they are on
i still turn up the radio when i hear them--

I am not one of these people who gets terribly emotional at the death of a celebrity
but for some reason i kept finding myself getting really farklempt at the thought that
he is really gone-
i suppose i had entertained the notion of one day earning enough money that i could have afforded a ticket to a concert he may have been performing or something- that one day i would meet him and be able to impart in some small insignificant way how much his involvement in certain projects inspired me.

We can never know the full truth behind this inspirational and tragic figure
if he had done what he was accused of with those boys;
if half the stories about his eccentricities could be believed-
and i try to only take his music for what i like of it.
He was always soft spoken
and his efforts have been some of the most sensational and generous, being in the book of world records not just for his music
but also for his philanthropic leanings, donating to over 39 different charities, more than any other celebrity on record.
He helped spur AIDS/HIV awareness with his friendship to Ryan White and the countless fundraisers and song sales--
his music bridged a gap between many genres of music, becoming the first African American 'King' of a musical genre
(Jazz, Rock and others were all claimed by white men)
i am sure that his estate and his children will be in the public eye for years to come-
and i still hope that wherever he is
he is finally free of his personal demons and
in a place where he is happy and no longer burdened by anxiety and the stresses of being
one of the largest cultural icons the world has ever known.

Michael Jackson, larger than Pepsi or Coke;
Stranger than Fiction
Beloved of many-
Gone now forever;
in his own words;
Gone too Soon.

I am going to go download Moonwalker and put together a Youtube playlist of his videos
maybe i can scrounge up a copy of Captain EO and then i will even watch that too.

Rest in Peace Always Michael;
you've touched our lives and our hearts
the world would be a different place if it had not been for you.

;_;